For some reason I find the need to vent and I don't want to take it out on my friends or family. I just want to get these thoughts out of my head.
I decided to call this post endings, because that is what is happening right now. My time at school is ending, we have 5 days of school left and I don't know who is more anxious to leave, the teachers or the students.
This has been a really rough year for me with a lot of changes. It has felt like the bad has outweighed the good this year and I hate that. I'm hoping that the change that I need is just over the next turn and I'll be able to feel relief. I use to love what I did and now I hate it. I dread going into work and I dread being at work. Had it not been for my close friends that I made at work, I think I would have left a long time ago, but then again I've never been a quitter, but like I said, this has been a rough year.
Every night I pray that we will be able to dig ourselves out of this hole that fate has landed us in. I know that I need to have a positive outlook on things, but at times it is very hard to stay positive when you work and exist in a negative environment.
But I am trying to shake all that off and be more positive. It isn't easy but there are days when I manage to rise to the occasion and do what needs to be done.
And I'm praying that this day will hurry up so that I can go home and nap or do anything but be here watching these kids sleep. I don't know why I said nap, I never get to do that anymore. Instead I pass out with exhaustion at the end of the night. But I have a bottle of wine that I partake of as I watch the kiddo. Hopefully I'll get a little alone time and not just end up passing out with him.
